1. Start by losing the losers If you want to find your soul mate, you must be available and not involved with people who aren’t right for you.
2. OK, available now? Next… are you “ready?” Do you have any unfinished business that might sabotage your next relationship? Get it handled now!
3. Next, make a list your top five requirements Your requirements are the “must haves” in your relationship, otherwise you would not enter into the relationship or you would leave if you were in it. Make a list of your non-negotiable deal-breakers and vow not to get involved with anyone who doesn’t meet all five. Share your list with your closest friends and make them swear to tell you the truth and to lock you up if you get off-track.
4. Good job. Now, let’s get crystal clear about this “dating” thing
If you want to avoid the deadly dating traps, focus on these Four Steps for Conscious Dating:
- Scouting: This is the process of finding compatible people to meet, whether through internet dating sites, through friends, through getting out there, etc.
- Sorting: This is about quickly determining if someone you meet has potential. You’ll need to have your top five requirements handy.
- Screening: This step is concerned with collecting enough information about the other person to determine if your requirements would be met.
- Testing: This step involves dating a few times so that you can compare the reality with the information you gathered.
That’s it… nothing more, nothing less. No “trial” relationships, no fun flings — just these four steps.
5. Get support Don’t do this alone. Dating can be scary and isolating, and your friends and family can be your safety net to help you stay on track.
6. Work it! Most people meet their soul mate through someone they already know, so let people know you’re looking for someone and network like crazy.
7. Be positive and happy Success breeds success, just as misery loves company. It’s your choice.
8. Be the Chooser! Go after what you want and don’t simply react to what or who chooses you.
9. Be assertive! If you settle for less, you’ll get less. Ask for what you want and say “no” to what you don’t want.
10. Live a great life NOW while you’re single “If you build it, they will come” (from the movie “Field of Dreams”).
Teena Evert, LMFT, LAC is a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in relationship coaching. She is a love relationship coach and compatibility mentor, and best-selling author. Teena the highly successful and popular Conscious Dating program at CFU. Browse all Teena’s upcoming class dates.